There is a Indian Ring Kneck In My Kitchen,

As Suggested By Sixtyorso

(Food Critic, and Gastronome, cook)

Goompie, Just_Rodney and the kitchen prepare for Christmas. How's that for a hub title in the current hubmob?

And Egged On By Mistyhorizon2003

(must be a choreographer, especially with those long legs)

Great idea sixtyorso. You should do it Rodney, accompanied by photos of Goompy helping to eat the fruit destined for the Christmas Cake.

OK for those two, Food critic, and choreographer cum photographic coordinator standing their in the background, behind me, so to speak, as they then proceed to nudge me in my side, without any of those cheeky winks, I must add with a tad bit of disappointment!

So here is, 'Moi', the cook who was actually planning a different type of hub for this weeks topic. With food the last thing on his mind.

Hung out here in the hot kitchen, in the middle of a heat wave, like a piece of biltong (in some countries it is called "Jerky"). What it is, is a cut of air dried meat, but it is a highly sought after delicacy over here in South Africa. Its alright for the lot of you over in the Northern Hemisphere,where the winter is settling in.

Added to that I have my parrot who is a rather sensitive, a bit camera shy Ring Neck, aged 2 months and some days old, pressed into service.

So let me proceed!

For a formal introduction to the stars of this hub

Goompy

You will need to find out a bit more about him at his personal hub reviews

Making-Space-For-a-Ring-Neck

and

My-Ring-Neck-Arrived-To-Roost

As you can see he is a member of the winged bird variety, and not a secret admirer with two arms and etc., etc., so the type of assistance that I will be getting is going to be rather a ..... well let us wait and see, shall we.

Just_Rodney

If you need to know a bit more about me, if this is the first time you have encountered any of my hubs, then there is a profile about, me as well as a stack of hubs where you can get to know something about me.

Now having a bird, feathered variety, in the kitchen is a juggling act and requires a lot of careful planning and management.

There are believe it or not some foods and food substances as well as pretty standard cooking utensils that are a strict no-no for these characters, for believe me they are each and everyone of them unique.

Cooking Utensils

Sorry you guys and ladies who have been thinking of getting that set of, that British chef who has his fancy red dotted Teflon pans, for Christmas, Channukah or just because type of present.

This is a very strict no-no, as when the teflon coating gets very hot it then releases vapours, unfortunatly to a parrot these are toxic which would kill your feathered companion.

Remember, in the early mining methods, Goompy's cousins, the canaries, were travelled down in their cages into the mines, to detect and monitor the methane levels , if the canaries lived, it was safe.

Besides that who in their right minds really wants there food cooked in super hardened plastic compound in the first place! My choice of cooking utinsils is stainless steel and cast iron.

General Work Area

The area where Goompy needs to be able to work needs to be carefully planned. as it is like working in the kitchen with a two to three year old child that can fly, and also has a strong jaw with very very sharp teeth.

You have to be extremely quick as anything can happen in a flash.

Many parrot deaths, though statistics are rarely available, are due to accidents in the home, and at least sixty five percent happen in the kitchen.

So with all that in mind, I had to banish Goompy from the Kitchen.

After examining the daunting task of having the Goompy as an assistant, in a very hostile environment.

A kitchen, hostile, I can here you say, so give yourself a pair of wings, shrink your self down to approximately seven inches, with half of that being your pretty tail feathers. I must admit you make quite a cute bird.

Now sit on a pair of broad shoulders and watch all that food being placed into dishes, onto boards, plates and into pots.

Hot steam fluffing up your feathers and suddenly a cool draft starts to suck you up into the extractor hood, not a pleasant thought, as this is tragically all easy to happen.

So we need to remove Goompy from this scenario. Place him in the safety of a more friendly environment and rethink this entire hub.

After mulling this over and a lot of discussion with Goompy and others involved in the merriment of this festive season, proceeded to do a Google Search with the required search criteria, that would find me that number one spot of what would be on the Menu for the day.

1. It only required a single search!
2. A single telephone call!
3. An electronic Funds Transfer!

• It all happened in a trice,
• I was not naughty
• but rather nice
• on the day of christmas
• wont be in the house
• will be away
• for the day
• feasting on things nice

So have a peak at that menu for lunch for the day

Starters

• Display of fresh farm breads and farm butter
• Smoked salmon platter with cream cheese capers and fresh lemon wedges
• Farm pates, Fresh preserves, and a Cold meat selection

Salad Buffet

• New Potato, onion and herb salad tossed in a homemade mayonnaise
• Caprese salad - vine ripened tomatoes and mozzarella cheese dressed with balsamic vinegar and basil pesto
• Mediterranean vegetable pasta salad
• Carrot and pineapple salad
• Greek salad
• Three bean salad
• Marinated mushroom and broccoli salad
• Garden salad with fresh fruit and croutons
• Beetroot salad

Main Course

• Traditional bread and sage stuffed oven roast cranberry and cardamom sauce
• Honey glazed gammon with pineapple and cherries with a wholegrain mustard and honey sauce
• Rosemary and garlic studded leg of lamb in its own roasting juices
• Mustard and herb crusted beef with a port wine jus

Vegetable selection

• Roast potatoes
• Honey roast carrots
• Cauliflower and broccoli in cheese sauce
• Creamed spinach
• Rice

Desert Selection

• Traditional brandy soaked Christmas pudding with creme anglaise
• Mince pies
• Traditional sherry trifle
• Strawberry and chocolate Mousse
• Pavlova with berries and cream

Finale

• Cheese board with crackers and preserved figs
• Freshly brewed tea or filtered coffee served with homemade shortbread

Still, not really an easy way out, as I did have to examine some real issues that could occur in the kitchen, as any one who has seen me working under pressure in the kitchen would testify that the kitchen becomes a danger zone.

I tend to get out of stride and have to rush from one end to the other with pots of boiling liquid in hand.

I have also had to consider that this year, for the first time, in all my adult life, I only have to consider a single important person. All the other years, it has been rushing from set of in laws to the other, great distances having to be covered between each set.

So we decided to kick back the bedclothes on Christmas morn, travel the required sixty odd Kilometers, to that Hotel in which we had our Wedding Breakfast. Have a morning coffee and then sit back, on the sun bathed terrace overlooking the pool, have a cocktail before lunch.

Proceed to sample and enjoy an unhurried Christmas lunch.

A merry Christmas to All.

May all of you enjoy what has been planned and may those plans be the reality you envisaged.

May your god, watch over you and keep you safe.